I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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