hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
