I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
