Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
