You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
