I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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