Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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