tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Randomize
