I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You pole danced in your parka.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
