Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
