I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i think i just lost a toe
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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