If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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