He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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