i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Even my vagina gasped.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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