You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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