Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
