So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
