Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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