Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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