So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
