why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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