He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize