Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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