I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
