spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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