I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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