this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
