Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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