guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
