i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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