what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
