i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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