Where are you?
In a non slutty way
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
