Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
