I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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