We won't sleep together?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
