you would pick up someone in the library
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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