So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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