Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
