When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
