Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
