what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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