i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
