wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
