i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
