then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
