I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
