Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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