Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize