R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
