I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
