clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize