I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
