Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
