This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
