My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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