I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
