Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize