nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
