Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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