I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
