Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
